There comes a time in every person’s life when it’s time to make a change. Maybe we envision ourselves a world-changers. Sometimes there’s a feeling that the something in world just isn’t quite right and there needs to be a change. Changing can be the easiest, most naturally occurring phenomenon any of us experience. Change happens day by day, all around us. It’s a natural part of life which never stops. Most of us, however, experience change in a very different way. Behavioral change has been shown to be one of the most difficult things a person can do. So, how do we change our lives and change the world while wrestling with such difficult changes as whether or not to switch shampoos or which gas station we visit?
There are at least two ways people go about solving the dilemma of change. We can approach change internally or externally. These two main schools of thought seem to have associated stereotypes which I will exploit for making my point. ‘Internal changers’ meditate, psychoanalyze, philosophize, think, and pray in order to bring about a fundamental change in their internal environments. ‘External changers’ are more like political activists, saving the whales, saving the rain forests, recycling, and bicycling their way to change without ever plumbing the depths of the psyche.

The first approach

The first approach says that we should pursue change by changing our internal world. We should change the way we think. We should change what we expect. We can change our relationships to our problems or whether or not we can love unconditionally or whether or not we can see the perfection in our situations. As many of us know, these are extremely powerful methods. The problem with these methods is that they ignore changes which need to take place outside of ourselves. They make us feel better about who we are and what we do and how we’ve changed, but they may not manifest in our external lives.

The other approach

The other approach is to set about changing every facet of our external lives, or to ignore our lives totally and change everything about the world at large. We want to live sustainably, so we recycle and manage our waste. We compost our garbage and use low-emission vehicles. We stop whaling boats and tie ourselves to trees to stop deforestation. We get a bike, or we exercise or change what we eat and how we shop. All these changes can add up to huge benefits to our health and the ecosystem, but no matter how many of these changes we make, we still feel like something’s missing. We’ve ignored the importance of nurturing the spirit: the internal world.
The reality is that both of these approaches are of vital importance and are woefully incomplete. It not only takes changing internally, but externally as well. To make lasting, meaningful change, we not only have to change the way we think and how we relate to our problems, but we have to change our habits and how we relate to the world outside. We may have to change the language we use in order to better reflect our truest self-expression, or we may have to change the people with whom we relate.

Many of us are advocates of sustainable living

But not matter how often or how much we meditate, our lives don’t get any more sustainable. We’ve still got to make sure our external habits reflect our internal world. Likewise, sometimes a person who wants to improve his or her health hears about the many benefits of meditation (less stress, lower blood pressure, better sleep, to name a few). They may meditate daily, but still don’t exercise, eat well, or get enough rest. This is an example of incomplete and incongruent change.

From the other side

We can change the way we dress or the way we talk or the way we save the world, but unless we take a deep look at our own psychological patterns and gain awareness of the relationships we have with our selves, we’ll only achieve change superficially.
Our changes have long-lasting, meaningful impact when we make internal changes which parallel our external ones. When our internal and external changes support each other, things unfold more naturally and in surprising, often delightful ways. So, when we make the internal change of releasing our fear of being fully self-expressed, it might behoove us to also participate in an activity with requires us to express ourselves.
How are you changing yourself? How are you changing the world?
Visit The Adjustatorium today.
LOVE
Dr. Ryan K. Marchman